The Peacemaker’s Paradox

Are you the one who always keeps it together? The soother of storms, the peacekeeper in your relationships? Let me ask you – how's that working out for you? Are you truly at peace, or do you find yourself trapped in frustration, resentment, and exhaustion??

If you were to make a list of all the things you’ve done to keep the peace, how long would it be? And yet, despite all your efforts, doesn’t it seem like the conflict never ends?

This is what I call The Peacemaker’s Paradox: While you're working hard to keep the peace and shut down conflict outside of yourself, you end up losing the very thing you’re striving for within yourself – true peace.

Why Does Peacekeeping
Leave You Feeling Empty?

It’s not just you. So many of us who take on the role of the peacekeeper are driven by deep, usually unconscious patterns. We think we're super smart and that by avoiding conflict, we’re creating harmony.

In reality, we’re hiding from something much bigger.

You see, peacekeepers are often conflict avoiders. Whether it’s conscious or not, we’re afraid of the feelings and emotions of others. We go to great lengths to keep the harmony because the thought of intense emotions – whether they’re our own or someone else’s – feels overwhelming. So we avoid them.

But here's a little secret: in avoiding other people’s emotions, we’re often avoiding our own.

The Real Source
of Your Anxiety

It’s exhausting, isn’t it? Constantly worrying about how others will react, tiptoeing around emotions, feeling like you have to carry the weight of everyone's feelings.

It's no wonder you feel anxious – because in avoiding their emotions, you've been avoiding your own.

It's a juicy tidbit of awareness that can ignite a healing journey. What a huge realization it is to see that what you fear in others is actually a reflection of what’s unresolved within yourself? Peacekeeping becomes a way to avoid that fear – it’s a defense mechanism. By keeping everything "under control," you’re really trying to protect yourself from the emotional chaos "out there" that you think you can’t handle. But here’s the truth: the chaos isn’t out there – it’s within.

Are You Ready to Heal
the Peacemaker Within?

The path to healing starts with awareness. Once you see that your peacekeeping efforts are more about avoiding your own emotions, everything shifts.

Here’s something I’ve learned: It's not about keeping everything outside of you calm and smooth — it’s about finding the courage to face the storms within yourself. When you do that, you’ll discover that true peace isn’t something you create for others — it’s something you cultivate inside that then flows outward.

The Courage to
Step into Conflict

If you're a seasoned peacekeeper, this might sound scary. But you've got this, and I've got your back!. Take a breath – it’s time to step into the discomfort you’ve been avoiding.

Be willing to look at the things you’ve been running from– your own emotions, fears and unresolved feelings. You’re ready to shift the focus inward.

Don't be afraid to be with your own emotions, even the fear of emotional chaos. It's well worth the effort because you're going to find something so much more precious than external harmony – you’ll find true peace within yourself.

Conflict is not the enemy. It’s an invitation to grow, to be more honest, more authentic, and ultimately, more at peace with yourself (and, as a result, with others).

So, let me ask you again: How is keeping the peace working out for you?